Nocturne

Okay, you know how I said I keep waking up in the middle of the night? Well, Wednesday night I woke up after the weirdest dream.

For some reason the Patriots were touring the building at work. All of a sudden we all became rabid Cowboys fans and started heckling them. I said, "I wish we had spitballs we could throw!" and then thought, "Hey, why not just throw paper balls?" Just as I was balling up two pieces of paper (one for each hand, of course) someone behind me must have had the same thought two seconds earlier and paper balls flew over my head. The next thing I know we were all throwing them. Then the Pats got paper from somewhere and were throwing back. But to our dismay, their paper balls hurt! One hit me in the back. I picked it up and uncurled it and discovered they were wrapping rocks and assorted crap in theirs. Someone close to me got hit with a horseshoe-shaped rainbow refrigerator magnet.

We started yelling, they started yelling, it was getting really ugly. Then Detective Fontana from Law & Order came in and shut everybody up. He was really letting us have it until I showed him the rocks and the magnet. I gave some kind of rousing speech which I don't remember and asked who threw the rock at me. Some short guy who looked like he was probably a water boy or a trainer of some sort stepped forward and said he did. I finished my speech, everyone calmed down and the tour resumed. A few minutes later the head coach (somehow it wasn't Bill Belichick) came by and told me that I'm welcome in [some city I can't remember], Vermont anytime I want to come up. Soon after, the waterboy/trainer came up and said the same thing. I told him how I admired how he admitted that he threw the rock. How he knew where his rock landed in all that melee I don't know.

I'm not sure when the team moved from Boston or when they hired Detective Fontana as head of security or when they fired ol' Bill, but that, my friends, was a hell of a dream!