148

148
Originally uploaded by erloteiel

Yep, you read that right. Up three pounds. It's my own fault (whose else would it be?) for not keeping my activity goals and for splurging twice instead of once. Not gonna beat myself up though.

And I may not have much great news to report next week either. I'm hitting the gym like mad, but I'm going to Dallas this weekend to watch the Super Bowl with my family. I'll try hard, but I know there will lots of temptation to indulge in fatty foods. C'mon, it's the Super Bowl! Doesn't that just scream hot wings and onion dip?!

Best Christmas gift I never got

So I'm a vocal boycotter of Wal-Mart (aka The Great Satan). My whole family knows it and occasionally gives me grief about it.

Christmas 2006, my parents gave all the kids gift cards for Christmas. Everyone except me got a Wal-Mart card. I got a Target card. I thought that was pretty cool of them. They told everyone -- with much mock eye-rolling -- how they knew better than to give me a card to that evil store.

This past Christmas was even better. My dad went to Wal-Mart for a repeat of the year before. Gift cards for everyone but Samsara, but this time he saw one of those "spend it anywhere" Visa cards and bought one of those for me. Thoughtful and above-and-beyond in itself because there's an added fee on those cards. But wait, it gets better. When he got home and was filling out the enclosure cards, he saw that the Visa also had a Wal-Mart logo, probably meaning that some of that fee would go to Wal-Mart. You know what he did? He took it back! I kind of think, if it were me, I would have told the recipient to get over herself since she didn't have to actually shop at Wal-Mart. Not my super-conscientious dad. He took it back and I got a new cellphone instead. Best non-gift ever.

Rewards

I have totally slacked off on the gym-going this week. Boo, me. I took a seminar at work called "Making Your New Year's Resolution A Reality" in which the speaker suggested we reward ourselves for accomplishing short-term goals.

So next week, the goal is 6 days of activity. And the reward for that effort will be a pedicure. I've been wanting one for months, but just haven't let myself spend the money. Now I'm going to. The week starts tomorrow. Wish me luck!

I've also decided what my big reward for meeting my goal weight will be: paying for a housecleaning! Now that's motivation! I hate cleaning and usually only do enough to get by. I want to pay someone to clean and clean thoroughly -- baseboards, oven, refrigerator, windows, the works.

145

145
Originally uploaded by erloteiel

So I'm down four more pounds. I'm at the weight I was when I arrived in San Marcos.

That's good. I've lost 14 pounds. That's good. Sadly, I have to keep telling myself that because I've gotten discouraged this week. I haven't abandoned the program, but I'm really having to work on my self-talk.

I feel discouraged because I've lost 14 pounds and I don't really feel a whole lot has changed. I think it's because I would expect to feel a big difference in my clothes and see more of a change in my body. Deep down I know I'm not seeing that change because I was at the mid 140's for a long time. It feels like I'm where I started, I think, because I just put on these 14 pounds within the last 6 months and I was still able to squeeze in my old clothes.

I'm also discouraged thinking about my diet. I've finally started tracking my calories, and while the caloric intake per day is in the right range, I'm way off on my fat/carb/protein ratio. I'm going to have to start tracking dietary exchanges like I used to years ago. I was hoping to avoid that work, but if I want to be sure that I'm not losing muscle (which I'm sure I am now, another reason 14 pounds doesn't feel like 14 pounds), I'm going to have to bite the bullet and do it.

So, onwards and upwards. Or rather, downwards. Or upwards in my attitude and downwards in my weight. You know what I mean.

Sweaty campus rec

I went ahead and joined the campus rec center on Friday. The weather was so nasty last week that walking outside was a no-go. There's more nastiness predicted for this week. I signed up just for the spring semester and also rented a locker and purchased towel service. This way I can go before work and shower there.

Aside from being a nice gym with lots of equipment, there's the bonus of college boys with their college bodies running and getting sweaty and lifting weights and getting sweaty and playing basketball and getting sweaty and walking around all sweaty with their muscles and broad shoulders and buns of steel and all sweaty. I don't think it's going to take a lot to motivate me to go to the gym!

149

149
Originally uploaded by erloteiel

149. What the heck?

Here's the whole story. I've been using the scale at work and since I'm taking pictures as I weigh, I end up weighing myself four or five times trying to get the least blurry shot.

This time, when I weighed at first, it was 151. 3 pounds, great. But then the next three times were 149. The same thing happened last week. It was 156 the first time, then 154 thereafter. But that same day I weighed after lunch just to see what would happen and it was 156. There was no way I could weigh 156 before I'd had anything to eat or drink and still 156 after eating breakfast and lunch, so I went with the 154.

When the up/down phenomenon happened again today, I decided to buy a scale of my own. Perhaps the work one is faulty. I got one at Target and weighed myself just before dinner. It was 148. Who knows what the heck I really weigh! I'm going with 149.

Nocturne

Okay, you know how I said I keep waking up in the middle of the night? Well, Wednesday night I woke up after the weirdest dream.

For some reason the Patriots were touring the building at work. All of a sudden we all became rabid Cowboys fans and started heckling them. I said, "I wish we had spitballs we could throw!" and then thought, "Hey, why not just throw paper balls?" Just as I was balling up two pieces of paper (one for each hand, of course) someone behind me must have had the same thought two seconds earlier and paper balls flew over my head. The next thing I know we were all throwing them. Then the Pats got paper from somewhere and were throwing back. But to our dismay, their paper balls hurt! One hit me in the back. I picked it up and uncurled it and discovered they were wrapping rocks and assorted crap in theirs. Someone close to me got hit with a horseshoe-shaped rainbow refrigerator magnet.

We started yelling, they started yelling, it was getting really ugly. Then Detective Fontana from Law & Order came in and shut everybody up. He was really letting us have it until I showed him the rocks and the magnet. I gave some kind of rousing speech which I don't remember and asked who threw the rock at me. Some short guy who looked like he was probably a water boy or a trainer of some sort stepped forward and said he did. I finished my speech, everyone calmed down and the tour resumed. A few minutes later the head coach (somehow it wasn't Bill Belichick) came by and told me that I'm welcome in [some city I can't remember], Vermont anytime I want to come up. Soon after, the waterboy/trainer came up and said the same thing. I told him how I admired how he admitted that he threw the rock. How he knew where his rock landed in all that melee I don't know.

I'm not sure when the team moved from Boston or when they hired Detective Fontana as head of security or when they fired ol' Bill, but that, my friends, was a hell of a dream!

154

154
Originally uploaded by erloteiel

Results after one week and a day. (I forgot to weigh myself yesterday morning.)

I'm down 5 pounds! I can't believe it. I actually think that's too much to have lost, and the last two nights I haven't slept through the night, which leads me to believe I may not be getting enough calories. For next week I'm going to add a protein shake to my morning snack. That should help.

P.S. Sorry the photo is so blurry.

Movie weekend

Oh, the grimness. I saw The Reaping, I am Legend, and The Last King of Scotland. I enjoyed all three, although The Reaping was kind of corny in spots and Scotland was not what I expected. But man, were they all kind of downers! I moved a couple of comedies up in my Netflix queue.

159

159
Originally uploaded by erloteiel

Well, folks, here it is. Not as bad as I thought, but definitely needs some work.

Day One of healthy eating went well. I turned down an offer for a cheeseburger lunch and walked right past the two bags of chocolate my assistant brought in.

I'm not saying I'll never indulge -- that's crazy and wouldn't work. I'm planning my indulgences, though. After two weeks, my splurge is going to be a trip to my favorite restaurant on a weekend when I don't have to rush back to work. As far as the chocolate goes, Skinny Cow and Smart Ones have me covered.

Resolution

I am joining millions of people today in making losing weight my New Year's Resolution. I know it's cliche and most people quit after a few weeks, but I really mean business. To prove that, I'm going to use this blog and my flickr page as accountability aids.

I'm going to weigh myself tomorrow and post my current weight. It's more than I've ever weighed before, so the thought of doing that makes me nervous. Making it public should prove to be motivation for getting that number to go down. I'm also looking forward to getting support from my loyal commenters (I'm looking at you!).

My goal is reasonable: 10 lbs by March 1. I'm going to follow a "modified Jenny Craig" program. I'll start with frozen meals supplemented with fresh vegetables and sensible snacks. I will use my wellness benefit at work to walk for 30 minutes everyday. I initially thought I would join the rec center, but I don't want to do that just yet. Trying to schedule time for a full workout has been difficult and I want to make this process simple.

After March 1, I'll reassess. I would like to lose at least 30 lbs but I know I need to concentrate on mini-milestones so that I don't feel overwhelmed and get discouraged. My tentative plan for that time is to transition to cooking for myself. I'll also sign up for a women's karate class that starts March 4.

So, tomorrow's the weigh-in. (I'm waiting because I don't own a scale. I haven't decided if I'm going to buy one or use the one at work.) There'll be a written post here and a picture of the scale on flickr. Ignore the tear stains.