Updates

I was re-reading this old post and, after being really embarrassed, I realized I need to give some updates.

1. The therapist: I went twice and then stopped. She talked waaaay too much, and she wasn't really a cognitive behaviorist even though she said she was when I first called. Now that I have decent mental health coverage, I'll try again.

2. Having "a lot to lose": I was totally using Brett as a crutch. There were places I wanted to go and things I wanted to do. If my social anxiety kept me from doing them by myself, I could ask him to go with me. It took me a while to realize that, and now I know that it was not cool. That's not to say that I didn't enjoy his company because I did. The part about his being fun to be around was true. I'm just saying that what I wrote in that post was more fear than despair.

3. The friendship: It didn't work out. Remember how I said I was so anxious about the casual dating thing? Well, it was the same with the friendship. I really don't know why. I didn't feel hurt and there weren't lingering romantic feelings, but something was definitely wrong. Two weeks before I moved, I had a bad night and ended up writing him an email saying I couldn't be friends with him. Email = cop out, I know, but I didn't have a good explanation. Whenever I talked to him about it, he ended up apologizing so I obviously wasn't doing a good job of explaining the problem.