DYO Apparel
I ordered a custom t-shirt from these folks and I'm so impressed with it. I highly recommend them. The prices are good. The printing is great. It's not all shiny and homemade-looking like some screen printing. I ordered the shirt Tuesday night and received it in Friday's mail. They offer express shipping, but why bother? Standard shipping is free.
So, get over there and create that shirt you've always wanted!
I asked my sister Angela for some advice last week, and then the same topic came up in one of the advice columns I read. Maybe it'll actually sink in.
The thing is that I'm so afraid of messing things up. Now it's with Chet, but I had the same problem with Etch. (I realized recently that they have the same letters in their noms-de-blog. I should have worked harder on Chet's.) It's not so much that I don't want to be alone or that I have to spend the rest of my life with him. I am fully confident that if things go wrong, I will be fine and I will move on. I just don't want it to be because of something I did wrong. I don't want to have to look back in regret. This is a horrible feeling.
Angela told me I was being silly. As long as I'm myself and true to what I'm feeling, it will be fine. I asked her if I should be making myself less available to Chet. I asked if there was such a thing as seeing too much of each other. She said, and I quote, "That's stupid." So blunt, and just what I needed to hear. Any contrived response, like pretending to have plans or something, is just manipulation. I should just do what I feel is right.
Here's what Carolyn Hax had to say in her weekly chat:
Anywhere: I recently began seeing someone I really like after a dating hiatus (and before that, a long relationship). It's been so long since I've dated anyone that I feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm nervous! How do I relax so I don't psych myself out and ruin a good thing?
Carolyn Hax: If it's a good thing, being yourself can't ruin it.
I am so thankful that Lass hasn't tried to kill me for having the brilliant idea of joining Match. It has pretty well sucked for both of us.
Although it has slowed considerably, I'm continuing to get winks and emails here and there, but they've all been losers so far. I was supposed to have a date on Thursday with a guy I was only mildly interested in. Thankfully he had to cancel at the last minute.
I can't believe I'm only at Day 16 of 30 in month one. Chet is my top priority right now, yet I don't want to let my adherence to the guarantee policy lapse in case things don't work out down the line. That means next month I'm going to have to find 5 more guys to whom to write. As far as I know, there's no monitoring of the messages, so I could just write to some random guys and say, "Hi. I'm not interested in you. Enjoy your day." But then they'd probably report me as a concern, so I'd better rethink that.
I DO NOT want to be the rebound girl. But how on earth do you know? Chet broke up with his girlfriend in April. He said I'm the first girl he's been out with since. That means I'm the rebound girl, doesn't it? Damn.
I think I am afraid because 1) I'm a worrier and I have to find something wrong and 2) he's so intensely into me. I don't doubt his feelings, but I know it can't last. I don't know what to do. I'd like to cool it down some, but I don't know how. I enjoy all the attention, but in the back of mind I know a flame can't burn this intensely for an extended period of time. Perhaps it will only cool and not die out completely.
The best I can do is just enjoy it for what it is now. I just don't want to look back on it and think I could have done something differently. Of course, that's only an issue if things go badly. It is possible that it won't. I'm just afraid, and for those of you who have been reading for any length of time, you know that's nothing new.
I went to Confession today. It's been a long time, about 4 months. I had been avoiding it because I knew I was actively pursuing 'getting some.' I knew I couldn't honestly say the part of the Act of Contrition that says "I firmly resolve to avoid the near occasion of sin." Hell, I was actively pursuing the "near occasion of sin!"
I met with Father Philip a couple of weeks ago to discuss what I should do. I really like him. He is one of the people I had in mind when I wrote "Good priests" in the Heroes section of my myspace page. Anyway, he reminded me that the full line in the prayer says "I firmly resolve, with the help of [God's] grace, ..." He said I should go to confession seeking God's grace to avoid the sin. I should look at it as going there to get help, not going to say, "I did this thing, but now I'm perfect."
Now, I get to receive communion again. That is going to be so nice. I wouldn't receive if there was a chance I'd be 'doing it' anytime soon. Father Philip said as long as I'm not actively planning to commit the sin, I can receive. So since it'll be at least a few months before I'm even considering it, I think it's okay.
I had a fantastic date last night! I met "Chet" on myspace of all places. Nevermind that I just shelled out almost $100 for Match. Leave it to me to meet a great guy on the free site where I just threw a page up for the heck of it.
Chet wrote me a short email on Sunday saying he thought I was interesting. I wrote back a funny message referring to his profile photo, and email hi-jinks ensued. He is so funny! We have the same sense of humor. Lass calls him my mirror. We live about 5 minutes away from each other and frequent the same venues, yet we've never run into each other.
We went to my watering hole (where he knows a ton of people, by the way) and had a couple of beers. I was afraid the online chemistry wouldn't translate to in-person chemistry, but it totally did. We had a great conversation. We played music on the jukebox. He asked if I'd like to go out to dinner with him, and I said I'd love to. At the end of the night, he walked me to my car. He hugged me and then went in for a kiss. It was a very nice one. Not too much and not not-enough. I especially liked the way he just went for it. No timidity; it was very manly. I can't wait to see him again.
The good thing about going on a bunch of first dates is that I only need one cute outfit. With Etch I was just about to the point where I was going to have to start repeating or go shopping.
I've got to think of some first date activity besides going out to eat. If not, I'm going to be a whale at the end of the six months. A movie is okay, but we don't really get to talk. And I'll be too self-conscious for something like bowling or miniature golf. Maybe a walk around the lake. Any ideas?
Match has turned out to be a lot of fun. I've gotten some (unintentionally) hilarious emails and winks from people with (unintentionally) hilarious profiles. Then there was the guy who I wanted to run over with my car. He had atrocious spelling: he said he frequently shops at Victory Secrete. He also said he only dates black women because as the saying goes "Once you try black, you never go back." Now, c'mon. Sure we've all heard the phrase and some of us have even said it, but would you really put in on your dating profile and think black women would find it charming? Puh-leeze.
I've met one guy in person. Let's call him 'Hogan.' We met at a restaurant, had drinks and chips, then went to my watering hole and had more drinks. Sunday we chatted online for a bit and he asked me to come over and watch the game. It was an okay time. Hogan is a nice guy, and we have an awesome amount of stuff in common. But, ultimately, there was no spark. We kissed a couple of times, but ... meh. I think we can be friends if he's up for it. We'll see.
So, that's it for now. Pardon me while I jump back into the dating pool.
Okay, so it's over with Etch and that's disappointing. But I really liked having a companion (how old do I sound?), so I'm refusing to give up. Over the weekend, I wrote to some guys on Craigslist and had a date. And now I'm going to sign up for Match. Lass and I have decided to do the 6-month program because there's a guarantee that if we "don't find someone special" in those 6 months, they'll give us another 6 months for free. Let's hope it works!
