Heaven help me

For the first time, I'm honestly afraid Chet is going to dump me. I had to tell him something about my past that I was dreading telling him. It came up in conversation and he asked me directly. I couldn't lie. I have already evaded the truth twice before using my own personal technicalities. Because he asked directly, the use of technicalities was out, but he also discovered said technicalities. He said, "So you distinguished between x and y?" which means he might think I lied.

I asked him how bothered he was by the thing. He didn't really answer. He said he doesn't know why people do that, but everyone seems to. I told him that wasn't really an answer, but I didn't want to press it. I suspect he'll have to mull it over. I'm sure he's disappointed.

I'm scared. I'm replaying this in my head, and I don't think it could have gone any other way. Well, actually I could have told him about it at the beginning when the topic first came up. Then I wouldn't have so much invested. But at that time, I thought it was too soon to share something so personal. A catch-22.

I just know that I couldn't have lied to him. That wouldn't be right. I wonder what he's going to do.