Saturday blues

I'm working at the reference desk today. I think this is my most hated of all tasks in the library. I only have to do it once a month, thankfully, but these are such dreadfully long days.

The positive side of it is that I get Monday off. I can get weekday errands done without using my precious vacation time.

Speaking of time off, I was thinking of using some of my sick time for personal days since I am never sick. I take a "mental health" day every now and then, but I haven't taken any extended time. A friend, who shall remain namelass nameless, says she tries to use up all her yearly allotment of sick time. I have 25 days right now; I'd like to take four or five days off. The thing that stops me is the required lie. With the "mental health" days, I just call and say I'm not feeling well. That's at least technically true: I'm not feeling well enough to deal with coming in to this gosh-forsaken heck hole. But to take a week, I'd have to have the flu or strep throat or something.

If I can figure out a crafty wording that's just this side of the truth, I'll do it. Suggestions welcome!

Note to Dallas County Constable, Precinct 1

Dear Derick Evans, Constable, Dallas County, Precinct 1,

You, by way of Officer B. Still (what a name, right?), have wasted my time. I received a citation from Officer Still on March 1. Said citation instructed me to appear "on or before March 15 at 10:00 a.m." Well, I appeared March 13, March 14, and March 15. However, I was not able to enter a plea and resolve my case because my citation has not been entered "in the system."

Has B. Still not uploaded the citations he wrote? He says he has, but I suspect that isn't the case. I am trying to perform my duties as a lawful citizen, but I am being thwarted by either the incompetence of your officer, the defectiveness of your computer system, or the general inefficiency of your office.

Now I am to understand that my time is going to continue to be wasted as I have to call regularly to find out if my citation appears "in the system." I want you to know that I am very displeased with this situation. I also want to remind you that yours is an elected position, and while I do not live in your precinct, I know many who do.

Your unwitting victim,
Samsara

Note to Häagen Dazs coffee ice cream

Dear Häagen Dazs coffee ice cream,
I hope that you don't mind too much that I am using you as a substitute for my usual favorite, Ben & Jerry's New York Super Fudge Chunk. I do really like you for you. Couldn't you tell by the way I walked up and down the ice cream aisle twice looking for you? When I couldn't find you after the first pass, I picked up Buttered Pecan but put it back. Coffee is what I craved. Then, behold! There you were hiding behind Dulce de Leche. I'm so glad I made a second pass. I hope you enjoy your brief stay in my freezer.
Your occasional fan,
Samsara

Note to Kashi

Dear Kashi,
First off, I want you to know that I love you. It is with compassion that I tell you, please, for the love of all that is yummy, stick to cold cereals. I have tried the Apple Cinnamon Go Lean hot cereal. Not good. I'm sorry. I tried to like it, I really did. I thought it was the flavor. So when I saw that there was a Golden Brown Maple flavor of Heart to Heart Oatmeal, I had Lass to get some for me. I love Maple and Brown Sugar instant oatmeal. Alas, it is not good either. I can't describe exactly what's wrong with it, and I don't want to eat more to pinpoint it.
Honestly, every variety of your cold cereal that I've tried, I have loved. You have perfected healthy cold cereal. I think you should stick to your strengths. Let Quaker have the hot cereal market, okay?
Thanks,
Your faithful cold cereal customer,
Samsara

Note to M·A·C

Dear M·A·C,
I'm on to you. I have figured out your sneaky scheme. I come to you for a little help covering up the evidence of past breakouts. You know, those dark spots and not-quite-gone-yet blemishes. You do a fine job covering them, but behind the scenes you're hard at work creating new blemishes. That's right, new blemishes that I'll want to cover up... with more M·A·C!
Well, I'm not participating in your cruel game anymore. Yes, I've said that before. Yes, I came back. No, I'm not coming back anymore. I stopped using your powder a week ago and I see a tremendous improvement. You won't trick me again.
Your sucker no more,
Samsara

Whodunnit

The problem with having two cats is that when I come home to find my bed soaked in urine, I have no idea who the culprit is. Grr. Maybe one day they'll come up with home cat DNA exams.

Breach

I just saw Breach. Is it weird that I just feel sorry for Robert Hanssen? I know that he was convicted of doing horrible things including betraying sources, at least 3 of whom were killed. Still, I think it was a sad story and I hate to think of him spending the rest of his life in solitary confinement. And since I've never heard his side of the story, in the back of my mind, I'm entertaining thoughts that perhaps he was set up. Crazy, I know.

Anyway, I highly recommend the movie. I thought it was a great character study. (And Ryan Phillipe is quite yummy. Lol.)